It’s not “body shaming” if you no longer find your partner attractive after they put on 50 lbs.

Meaningful relationships require being attracted to their personality, and not just their body. But all initial contact is based on simple physical attraction.

Just as you dont get to choose who you find attractive, whether it be men or woman, you don’t get to choose what physical features you find attractive. Liking a physically fit person is not wrong. Nor is liking more heavy set people.

If your partner puts on weight, stops exercising and makes zero effort to remedy this, all the while you make a concerted effort to stay in shape, you’re not the asshole for not “supporting” them being fat and unhealthy.

Edit: I’d like to clarify something as I think many of you are misunderstanding my point:

My opinion on this is being applied to a long term, committed relationship. I fully understand and agree that people’s weight will fluctuate and don’t expect anyone to maintain some ridiculous, unsustainable physique. I’m talking about someone making zero effort to maintain their appearance both for health, and aesthetic reasons. The point that I believe is unpopular is that no one should be vilified or ridiculed for expressing that they find their SO less attractive because they’ve let themselves go. I’m also NOT advocating shaming, threatening ultimatums, abuse (verbal or physical) or anything else of that nature on the part of either party. I’m advocating for open communication and a willingness from the other party to see the different point of view.

Edit 2: I’ve very much enjoyed the discussions I’ve had with the majority of you up to this point. I hope you all know that my responses are not in an argumentative tone. Text is so often misinterpreted as to emotional inflection by the reader. I’m going to bed now and do not look forward to wading through the swamp of hate that will undoubtedly be my inbox tomorrow as I didnt expect this tonget any attention, let alone as much as this. Goodnight to you all. And goodmorning to non Americans just now reading this, if you’ve gotten this far.